The hurried frenzy of the city still lies along the residential road that twists through homes and plotted gardens. A fence of branches and leaves runs along the opposite side of the road, protecting a precious burden, until there is a slight break where a dirt road begins. Flattened soil, brown and sturdy, winds from out of the trees, and into a place away from the cars and people.
A weathered brick house stands to greet it, seasoned by the passage of time, having watched triumphs and failures on this land. It’s bricks blaze pure white in the sunlight, a vivid spectacle. Lush fields of grass run from beyond it, flowing along until they touch the crops and shadowed forest. Delicate and lively green, it reaches toward the bright blue sky, and lovely golden sun, it’s fresh scent being raised and scattered by a silent breeze. Uplifted, it travels into the trees, rustling the leaves until they whisper among themselves, calling like a flock of content birds.
Nestled nearby, a pond reflects the dark lines of the trees, the reflection hovering over the clearness of the water. Tiny sparkling ripples drift through the water, formed by the wafts of air and noses of sleek horses. Their dark hides gleam in the sun as they turn and frolic across the grass, flying on their hooves. Only the high fences lining the pasture stop them.
Against the wood, pushes the continuous lines of corn, higher than a human head, outlined against the sky. Here and there, they have been opened and bitten by soft, tubby deer. Curiously they watch the horses, wide brown eyes and twitching ears taking in the scene. Their heads turn toward the dark red barn, happy chirping capturing their attention. Many different sizes and shapes of birds hop along the roof, and shake their soft feathers. They call from nests in the barn rafters, singing all day, their joyful songs oblivious to the outside world. This farm is a place made by humans, and protected by them from the rampaging nature of society.
Reflection
This was my favorite paper that we did this year, and certainly not because it was easy or anything. Mainly it was being able to go full out with describing a place I really like. Upon the assigning of the descriptive paper, the farm idea automatically sprang into my mind. The major reason it made the cut is the amount of support it had for details, which had been a big necessity in writing this type of thing. First I thought of what really leapt out at me, why it was so nice there, and what things had a lot of stuff going on.
Elaborating on the details was much harder; many of them were very connected, but too flat. It did not start rounding out until later in the process when I edited the whole paper and went further with their portrayal. For example, when I wrote about the chirping birds, one of my original details was described as, “Their heads turn toward the dark red barn, happy chirping capturing their attention. Birds call from nests in the barn rafters, singing all day, their joyful songs are oblivious to the outside world.” The problem with this is how only the sound and barn connect the deer from the previous sentence to the birds. It makes it choppier and less descriptive to have it this way, and I managed to fix that in the final draft. “Their heads turn toward the dark red barn, happy chirping capturing their attention. Many different sizes of birds hop along the roof, and shake their soft feathers. They call from nests in the barn rafters, singing all day, their joyful songs oblivious to the outside world.” It added the bird’s movements to the barn transition, making it more connective and active with detail.
In trying to make the paper peaceful, I had to choose things that would strongly affect the reader’s senses and the things they generally notice when they are feeling that way. I showed this well when I used the movement around the description of the grass, how it drifted and linked with other things. “Lush fields of grass run from beyond it, flowing along until they touch the crops and shadowed forest…it’s fresh scent being raised and scattered by a silent breeze. Uplifted, it travels into the trees, rustling the leaves until they call among themselves like a flock of content birds.” Describing the smooth movement and interaction of it with the surrounding environment was what made it a successful detail, and very peaceful.
If I had to do something differently, I would definitely change my mind from what I originally had said in the reflection I did shortly after. I really wish I hadn’t waited or gone wandering around with it like a mindless idiot. Overall I had put a lot of work into it.
